Tagged Savage Soliloquy

Savage Soliloquy: Verbose Elitist Gurus



Verbose: using or expressed in more words than are needed.

Elitist:  A person who believes that they are superior to others (and thus deserve favored status) because of their intellect, social status, wealth, or other factors. 

Guru: an influential teacher or popular expert.

Only one of these things separately pisses me off regularly…elitists. Hate them, and oddly, I feel superior to them because they are snobs. Worse, most are social predators waiting to pounce on anyone they mildly disagree with on any topic. The combination of the other two words to the equation creates an unbearable ass-hat who while educated & expressive loses any credibility as a source of guidance due to their second anus attached to their jaw.


The internet has provided a fertile breeding ground for these pests. In addition to making it more socially acceptable to “dip your toes in the water” of ass-hattery. These people were internet trolls before there was an internet. They flamed casual acquaintances for sport rather than sharing of knowledge. Now they are this disease that spreads through our lives unhindered. This entire blog was triggered by a post a friend shared, but the issue itself was crawling under my skin for some time prior to this.

The post itself was fairly simple. It was the authors disdain for people sharing quotes constantly on social media, especially it seemed, if the original message was a translation. Mainly due to the fact that translations from modern languages lose meaning, and the older the quote being translated the greater the loss. Plus, the message seemed to be that we can all share knowledge we discover on our own paths in life.

I agree!!! 

The thing that made me angry was the authors replies to people who disagreed with him. He spent most times mockingly calling out anyone who disagreed with him. Mocking their beliefs, their intellect, and the general usefulness of their existence. This from an author who from what i found (via FB stalking) to have many good points, and a seemingly decent knowledge base. It pissed me off mainly because for all the bluster & superiority of tone in his replies…all i saw between the lines was pettiness & monumental, yet fragile ego.


I hate people with the life coach mentality who can’t use it to COACH!!! Any teacher will tell you that you aim to address the audience you are speaking to… meaning that if you are talking to 4 year olds about life lessons, those lessons will be wildly less complex than if you were speaking to a group of twenty-somethings. This is where the verbose part comes into play. You can explain things nonstop, but if you are putting expert level knowledge out there for a novice…no learning will happen. The most important lesson I learned in my very limited college experience is this…be concise. Don’t pile words up like dirty clothes on your clean outfit otherwise the whole things stinks.

I mean I can converse all day long about nonsense, but I tell stories which require more detail than driving instructions for example.

The guru part is a bad deal when combined with the elitist mindset too. Mainly because you have someone who is using their slightly larger amount of knowledge as a way to lord it over other people. You will see people guru-ing their ass off for adoration & status. These are the people who make a point then pause dramatically & smile smugly at blowing people’s mind with their Gandalf-like wisdom. The fact remains that you can be a bar stool Rumi, but minutes later you are going home to you sad life alone wondering why no one appreciates your giant alien overlord brain pulsating your giant skull like a soft snake egg. It’s because you aren’t teaching anyone anything other than to make better conversation partner choices when drinking.

This type of guru offers no real knowledge…they speak to the masses to display their greatness, which in context looks very pathetic & sad. This is why they are so verbose, or talkative about their wide expanse of information…the silence between their posturing reveals they are one note songs, one-dimensional creations, and in fact are less advanced in a broad sense than the people they visualize themselves superior to.


Oh no!!! Seriously though, I have my moments feeling superior to people too. We all do. The thing is most people do not make it into a daily ritual, or a hobby. I like to think everyone I know is intelligent in one way, or another. I want to hear them spout off for long periods on the stuff they like…and I will pay them back with my own rambling. I think we get into problems when we think other people are inferior to us.

Like I said earlier, I think the internet is a breeding ground for this behavior. I can tell you for a fact probably 80% of my Facebook friends probably wouldn’t be friends with me if we only met online. Think about your friends & ask yourself the same question. If you are that judgmental on a site to share silly quotes, pictures, and tell people everything you did today, who are you really? Am I a know-it-all fuckbag who gets upset & yells at people for not being enlightened like me?

I would say no, but dammit I am tired of seeing people post about coffee every damned morning…but that is another blog.

Uncommon Sense

It’s just common sense.

It’s JUST common sense.

I want to do away with this expression. It is a useless phrase since it is never used when people have common sense. I have spent most of my life wondering wildly why this idiot or that moron can not seem to use common sense. It makes me angry and I know it makes you angry.

To be fair, it is our own fault.

Why? Because “common sense” would tell us if we complain about the mass amount of people with no common sense that it isn’t common at all. Think on that for a moment.

When is the last time you thought, “Man, that person has exceptional common sense!”?
The answer is never…because it is uncommon.

Sense of all varieties are a rarity.


This is also a Rarity


Even the people who show some sense don’t tend to do it with any regularity. So even in cases where someone has sense it isn’t even common for that person on a consistent basis. So using what little brains I have in my head, I can safely assume that over 90% of the thoughts all of us have are ridiculous and stupid.

I once plugged a lamp into a wall socket while my finger was firmly resting on one of the prongs…shocking myself. I stood there paralyzed, unable to move or understand why I couldn’t move.

It wasn’t a cute mistake. I wasn’t new to plugging things in either. I also knew the dangers of electrocuting yourself. I was a (seemingly) competent adult who stood frozen as I zapped myself to death like a complete moron.

At no point did I think, “Hey, maybe I should rest my finger on this conduit of death.” I did think OHHHHH GOD I CAN’T MOVE WHAT WHAT WHAT UUUUUHHHHHHHHH. 

As far as final thoughts go, not too impressive.

Less than a month ago I watched a coworker, who has worked in the same place for over a decade, walked head first into a glass wall. His lip marks are still on the glass. As if he was leaving some romantic memento for his love…the glass partition.

I will say this about our uncommon sense, and the lack of sense, it means only one thing is common…nonsense. The lack of sense.

So I suggest we replace, “It’s just common sense.” with, “It’s just nonsense.”

Of course, this is pretty much life and people summed up.

It’s just nonsense.

Happy Cultural Appropriation-ween

Soon, my friends… soon. The leaves will turn colors and fall to crunch beneath our feet. The unbearable heat will fade away like a memory. We will pull the booty shorts 3 sizes too small from our collective ass cracks and wrap ourselves in hoodies (and hopefully pants, though not required). The drinks will become warm so our hands don’t freeze.

Fall is coming! Savor it, because along with the glory that is Autumn comes the worst season of all… Cultural Appropriation Outrage season.

What? You though outrage was only for Spring & Summer? Haha…you poor ignorant bastards.

Outrage is eternal.

Aside from my obvious disdain for people screeching about Halloween’s cultural appropriating issues, I enjoy the season. Although, I do love watching white people yell at each other for being insensitive or snowflakes.

The humor of the moment is lost because I can’t even enjoy being basic and enjoying my hot cider & whiskey due to the bitching. It is ruining it.

That Ewok Costume tho!!!

Cultural appropriation is an issue…it is. College kids doing black face is ridiculous. Denigrating a culture should be looked down upon. There is a limit, but no one wants to admit there is a limit they want to throw everything in together.

So it all becomes negative.

If you are mocking a culture, then you’re a douche bag. If you found a cute non-specific native american outfit to wear, then *shrug* okay.

The thing is all of us were raised to dress up as something other than ourselves one night of the year. Unless you are just a cosplayer, make-up artist, or some other type performer. Many of us did this for years as children and then on into adulthood.

The was no malice, no hatred, no mockery, or anything like that. Usually, there isn’t at all. As I said before there is a limit and we can all reasonably see when it passes that limit.

The biggest thing that bothers me is this… Are various cultures so broken…it’s people so fragile that we can not even stand seeing someone dressed in an outfit? Do we need a chorus to spring up from the dark corners of our Halloween parties crying for justice?

No, that is the answer, we don’t…Not my culture(s), your cultures, or any other cultures.
Soon I will be called out because my ashy-ness is cultural appropriation because your grandma was cremated.

People argue a lot about the old “America is a melting pot” saying many of us heard growing up. Many people say it ignores our individuality…which is awesome…unless you are like me and are culturally & racially diverse all on your own. But, to many people this belief is still valid and still retains its positive message.

To those that say Halloween isn’t as serious as all that, I say I agree. Yet, this act of outrage seems petty from many (not all, mind you) because it is a fun holiday to dress up and enjoy time with one another. While we are doing all this Halloween themed stuff we are appreciating in a minor way those things different from ourselves. Real & Make believe alike.

The racist assholes doing crude stereotypes to get other racist assholes to giggle aren’t nearly as big a problem. Plus, if they are a few shots to the mouth by some tall mulatto guy in a big bird costume won’t hurt them…plus think of how entertaining the police report would be.

Just chill out and enjoy yourselves.

Savage Soliloquy: I’m The Shit

I was driving to work the other day. It was a nice day, sun shining and singing birds. It was beautiful. Normally, I drive past this coffee shop in the neighborhood. I stop there for breakfast sometimes.

SO, I am driving past the coffee shop and notice they are decking out the whole outside area. There were flowing white fabric panels all around the outdoor seating. (What do you call curtains that aren’t on windows?) The seating had fancy little decor too. Even the eternal pessimist in me was like “Wow, that’s pretty!” It was a great feeling to have on my way to work.

I felt a flash of happiness, probably just because I was able to catch this moment of beauty. This of course happened very quickly, in seconds. I turned my eyes back to the street i was driving.

I glanced over again while driving a second later. Only to see the house across the street from the beautiful decorations of the coffee shop…and…in the yard was a Labrador hunched over taking the mightiest of shits. I can’t be completely sure, but, i think, we made eye contact. It was….disconcerting.

The thought that flashed into my mind was This sums up my life perfectly.

I laughed and continued to work, but the juxtapose of those two images stuck with me. A gentle, but powerful moment of upper middle class beauty. A vulnerable, fat dog taking a dump that caused visible body shivers.

The Sacred & The Profane.

The problem since that day for me was trying to figure out….am I the dog? Was I the panel of fabric? Was I the shit?

I don’t know, but I learned a valuable lesson that day.

Keep your eyes on the fucking road.