Tagged nerd

You Illiterate Trash Heap

A while back I over heard a girl of about seventeen talking to her friends. She was telling them that she doesn’t read books. Not in a shameful “I’m illiterate” way, but a cocky I am too good for books way.

This set my mind cogs to grinding. It was upsetting. It was the dawning horror that this prideful idiot strutted around as if the ability to not do something was and accomplishment. Feeling the sudden violent urge to jiggle the light bulb supposedly attached to her “brain” I began speaking.

You know reading is something important? It is a gift. Slaves weren’t allowed to read…. or write…. That was so slave masters could keep them slaves. Actual books have been written about how losing the ability to read by an entire society could destroy everything we have. I mean even a magazine article is a start.

When I saw the look on her face it made my hope for humanity weep. She looked at me as if I had just told her I was a priest who liked touching kids & vaping. She actually made a scoffing sound! I literally heard scoff! that was kinda of neat, but just not in this situation. This girl might one day be in charge at the retirement home I decline in.

Remember when you were a child and everyone made a big deal out of “You can be whatever you want to be!” speech? Apparently, this girl was absent that day due to a Bachelor marathon. She strutted away, as I struggled to find enough will to continue living.

All in all, it wasn’t disturbing in and of itself.

Well, then a day later, another late teen was within my hearing range as she read out loud, “My conduct is..” off of a bracelet. She laughed, and told her friends it was funny. Two seconds later she says unashamed, “What does conduct mean?” It was then that I prayed God was swift and merciful with my death. I was too dumbstruck to even say a word. Luckily, I know understand the meaning behind the word dumbstruck.

The news media calls this era the Information Age! Yet, the more information available the more idiots sprout from the womb of ignorance. This is the world my child will inherit one day. All the current population seems concerned about is whether the environment is okay. I say if we are becoming nothing more than willing  pack animals of existence who gives a shit about going green! So we can look forward to a pollution free AND an intellect free planet??

I plan to continue on my path of going against the green. I use any products that cause or increase my carbon footprint. Use pesticides & Frankenstein foods. Why not? If the whole world is going to hell in a hand basket, and yet still cannot spell either hand or basket!! Why not let it die a fancy apocalyptic death?

Instead of making school children computer literate & environmentally conscious  make them aware of how to crack a fucking book & learn. Using deductive reasoning (which they learned from reading it would naturally happen anyway.

Fahrenheit 451 …read it!

Or burn it, I don’t even fucking know anymore.

Quit Making Me Hate What I Love!

I don’t like enjoying things anymore.

Don’t misread that sentence, I still enjoy things all the time. I just don’t like it.

 
Let me explain… I love Halloween. It is a great holiday. All its variations that are celebrated are super interesting, each with their own flair. Reverence for the dead, calling up or thwarting evil, and even just celebrating dressing up. It is great, plus the season is the best one for comfort…it isn’t hot as balls & it isn’t covered in sheets of ice. Plus, it has its own flavors that embody it.

 
The problem is when I was growing up some people loved, some hated it. You would have the kid who had an elaborate costume who obviously loved Halloween. Then there was that douche bag who tied a shitty towel around his neck…his heart wasn’t even in it.

 

There was a clear line between fanatic & reluctant participant.

 

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Now? Now, everyone fucking LOVES Halloween. Not a lot of people enjoy it. Everyone by their own online admission fucking lives & breathes pumpkin spice from their Jack O’Lantern faces that are bobbing to Thriller, while cruising about town in their refurbished hearse. There is no clear line…the is NO line. Everyone was born sucking candy corn from their mother’s teats.

 

Everyone wants to deep throat a jug of warm cider while walking with their beloved through a graveyard.

It pisses me off.

 
Not the fanaticism, but the fact that there is ONLY fanaticism. Not just with Halloween… everything. Holidays. Movies. TV shows. Music.

 
Speaking of music, think about how everyone is heartbroken when some musician(or celebrity) dies. I am not saying they shouldn’t or cannot be heartbroken, but your over emotional bullshit rings false.

 
I mean I cried at the end of Puff the Magic Dragon when he left at the end. I bawled. I mean honestly, I don’t think I would’ve made it through first grade without him. He made me into the man I am today. Every year on the anniversary of his departure back to his magical homeland I crack open a Capri-Sun and wear my custom Puff the Magic Dragon memorial shirt…crying and angry that the closest we ever got to getting him back was Spyro…fucking Spyro.

 
This is why I don’t like enjoying things anymore. I can enjoy them, but there is nothing special about it. It is as if everyone is making a concerted effort to make everything i enjoy plain old vanilla bullshit.

 

All the weird shit I liked is now nothing but lukewarm tofu seasoned with tap water.

 
Do I still consume it? FUCK YES… but now I tend to do it out of spite of all the homogenized bastards hooting and hollering about how amazing it is.

 
We need a secret handshake or some symbol so true fans know how to identify each other. I appreciate your enthusiasm Karen, but I think I will hang over here with the people who wear fishnet arm sleeves in July.

 
Now I gotta go dig through truly obscure shit just so Harold & Laura over there don’t fucking ruin it with their suburban excitement.

Nerdin’ Out: Top Benefits of Being A Nerd

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-qy244-985584

we discuss the benefits of being a nerd in today’s culture. We also discuss nerding out on podcasts, comics, movies, and secret nerd obsessions. It devolves quickly into us just being nerds…not surprising… What gets you nerding out? Let us know!

Logan joins us to nerd out!

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