Tagged halloween

Quit Making Me Hate What I Love!

I don’t like enjoying things anymore.

Don’t misread that sentence, I still enjoy things all the time. I just don’t like it.

Let me explain… I love Halloween. It is a great holiday. All its variations that are celebrated are super interesting, each with their own flair. Reverence for the dead, calling up or thwarting evil, and even just celebrating dressing up. It is great, plus the season is the best one for comfort…it isn’t hot as balls & it isn’t covered in sheets of ice. Plus, it has its own flavors that embody it.

The problem is when I was growing up some people loved, some hated it. You would have the kid who had an elaborate costume who obviously loved Halloween. Then there was that douche bag who tied a shitty towel around his neck…his heart wasn’t even in it.


There was a clear line between fanatic & reluctant participant.


Now? Now, everyone fucking LOVES Halloween. Not a lot of people enjoy it. Everyone by their own online admission fucking lives & breathes pumpkin spice from their Jack O’Lantern faces that are bobbing to Thriller, while cruising about town in their refurbished hearse. There is no clear line…the is NO line. Everyone was born sucking candy corn from their mother’s teats.


Everyone wants to deep throat a jug of warm cider while walking with their beloved through a graveyard.

It pisses me off.

Not the fanaticism, but the fact that there is ONLY fanaticism. Not just with Halloween… everything. Holidays. Movies. TV shows. Music.

Speaking of music, think about how everyone is heartbroken when some musician(or celebrity) dies. I am not saying they shouldn’t or cannot be heartbroken, but your over emotional bullshit rings false.

I mean I cried at the end of Puff the Magic Dragon when he left at the end. I bawled. I mean honestly, I don’t think I would’ve made it through first grade without him. He made me into the man I am today. Every year on the anniversary of his departure back to his magical homeland I crack open a Capri-Sun and wear my custom Puff the Magic Dragon memorial shirt…crying and angry that the closest we ever got to getting him back was Spyro…fucking Spyro.

This is why I don’t like enjoying things anymore. I can enjoy them, but there is nothing special about it. It is as if everyone is making a concerted effort to make everything i enjoy plain old vanilla bullshit.


All the weird shit I liked is now nothing but lukewarm tofu seasoned with tap water.

Do I still consume it? FUCK YES… but now I tend to do it out of spite of all the homogenized bastards hooting and hollering about how amazing it is.

We need a secret handshake or some symbol so true fans know how to identify each other. I appreciate your enthusiasm Karen, but I think I will hang over here with the people who wear fishnet arm sleeves in July.

Now I gotta go dig through truly obscure shit just so Harold & Laura over there don’t fucking ruin it with their suburban excitement.

Happy Cultural Appropriation-ween

Soon, my friends… soon. The leaves will turn colors and fall to crunch beneath our feet. The unbearable heat will fade away like a memory. We will pull the booty shorts 3 sizes too small from our collective ass cracks and wrap ourselves in hoodies (and hopefully pants, though not required). The drinks will become warm so our hands don’t freeze.

Fall is coming! Savor it, because along with the glory that is Autumn comes the worst season of all… Cultural Appropriation Outrage season.

What? You though outrage was only for Spring & Summer? Haha…you poor ignorant bastards.

Outrage is eternal.

Aside from my obvious disdain for people screeching about Halloween’s cultural appropriating issues, I enjoy the season. Although, I do love watching white people yell at each other for being insensitive or snowflakes.

The humor of the moment is lost because I can’t even enjoy being basic and enjoying my hot cider & whiskey due to the bitching. It is ruining it.

That Ewok Costume tho!!!

Cultural appropriation is an issue…it is. College kids doing black face is ridiculous. Denigrating a culture should be looked down upon. There is a limit, but no one wants to admit there is a limit they want to throw everything in together.

So it all becomes negative.

If you are mocking a culture, then you’re a douche bag. If you found a cute non-specific native american outfit to wear, then *shrug* okay.

The thing is all of us were raised to dress up as something other than ourselves one night of the year. Unless you are just a cosplayer, make-up artist, or some other type performer. Many of us did this for years as children and then on into adulthood.

The was no malice, no hatred, no mockery, or anything like that. Usually, there isn’t at all. As I said before there is a limit and we can all reasonably see when it passes that limit.

The biggest thing that bothers me is this… Are various cultures so broken…it’s people so fragile that we can not even stand seeing someone dressed in an outfit? Do we need a chorus to spring up from the dark corners of our Halloween parties crying for justice?

No, that is the answer, we don’t…Not my culture(s), your cultures, or any other cultures.
Soon I will be called out because my ashy-ness is cultural appropriation because your grandma was cremated.

People argue a lot about the old “America is a melting pot” saying many of us heard growing up. Many people say it ignores our individuality…which is awesome…unless you are like me and are culturally & racially diverse all on your own. But, to many people this┬ábelief is still valid and still retains its positive message.

To those that say Halloween isn’t as serious as all that, I say I agree. Yet, this act of outrage seems petty from many (not all, mind you) because it is a fun holiday to dress up and enjoy time with one another. While we are doing all this Halloween themed stuff we are appreciating in a minor way those things different from ourselves. Real & Make believe alike.

The racist assholes doing crude stereotypes to get other racist assholes to giggle aren’t nearly as big a problem. Plus, if they are a few shots to the mouth by some tall mulatto guy in a big bird costume won’t hurt them…plus think of how entertaining the police report would be.

Just chill out and enjoy yourselves.