Tagged dv8

You Illiterate Trash Heap

A while back I over heard a girl of about seventeen talking to her friends. She was telling them that she doesn’t read books. Not in a shameful “I’m illiterate” way, but a cocky I am too good for books way.

This set my mind cogs to grinding. It was upsetting. It was the dawning horror that this prideful idiot strutted around as if the ability to not do something was and accomplishment. Feeling the sudden violent urge to jiggle the light bulb supposedly attached to her “brain” I began speaking.

You know reading is something important? It is a gift. Slaves weren’t allowed to read…. or write…. That was so slave masters could keep them slaves. Actual books have been written about how losing the ability to read by an entire society could destroy everything we have. I mean even a magazine article is a start.

When I saw the look on her face it made my hope for humanity weep. She looked at me as if I had just told her I was a priest who liked touching kids & vaping. She actually made a scoffing sound! I literally heard scoff! that was kinda of neat, but just not in this situation. This girl might one day be in charge at the retirement home I decline in.

Remember when you were a child and everyone made a big deal out of “You can be whatever you want to be!” speech? Apparently, this girl was absent that day due to a Bachelor marathon. She strutted away, as I struggled to find enough will to continue living.

All in all, it wasn’t disturbing in and of itself.

Well, then a day later, another late teen was within my hearing range as she read out loud, “My conduct is..” off of a bracelet. She laughed, and told her friends it was funny. Two seconds later she says unashamed, “What does conduct mean?” It was then that I prayed God was swift and merciful with my death. I was too dumbstruck to even say a word. Luckily, I know understand the meaning behind the word dumbstruck.

The news media calls this era the Information Age! Yet, the more information available the more idiots sprout from the womb of ignorance. This is the world my child will inherit one day. All the current population seems concerned about is whether the environment is okay. I say if we are becoming nothing more than willing  pack animals of existence who gives a shit about going green! So we can look forward to a pollution free AND an intellect free planet??

I plan to continue on my path of going against the green. I use any products that cause or increase my carbon footprint. Use pesticides & Frankenstein foods. Why not? If the whole world is going to hell in a hand basket, and yet still cannot spell either hand or basket!! Why not let it die a fancy apocalyptic death?

Instead of making school children computer literate & environmentally conscious  make them aware of how to crack a fucking book & learn. Using deductive reasoning (which they learned from reading it would naturally happen anyway.

Fahrenheit 451 …read it!

Or burn it, I don’t even fucking know anymore.

Sex No-No’s

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-ewuq7-9c55bd

MediaHandler

Brittany joins us to talk about things you DON’T want to do during sex.

Are You A Basic B****?

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-ctxjh-9be69f

Are you in love with Pumpkin spice? Do you love a certain corporate coffee chain? Do you wear fasionable scarves? Does Erik hate you? The answer to all these questions is… YES! This episode we rant about people being basic and Erik becomes irate about Muffin Tops (the food not the body type) While Angela tries to not be offended that Erik judges her favorite coffee spot. 

Uncommon Sense

It’s just common sense.

It’s JUST common sense.

I want to do away with this expression. It is a useless phrase since it is never used when people have common sense. I have spent most of my life wondering wildly why this idiot or that moron can not seem to use common sense. It makes me angry and I know it makes you angry.

To be fair, it is our own fault.

Why? Because “common sense” would tell us if we complain about the mass amount of people with no common sense that it isn’t common at all. Think on that for a moment.

When is the last time you thought, “Man, that person has exceptional common sense!”?
The answer is never…because it is uncommon.

Sense of all varieties are a rarity.

 

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This is also a Rarity

 

Even the people who show some sense don’t tend to do it with any regularity. So even in cases where someone has sense it isn’t even common for that person on a consistent basis. So using what little brains I have in my head, I can safely assume that over 90% of the thoughts all of us have are ridiculous and stupid.

I once plugged a lamp into a wall socket while my finger was firmly resting on one of the prongs…shocking myself. I stood there paralyzed, unable to move or understand why I couldn’t move.

It wasn’t a cute mistake. I wasn’t new to plugging things in either. I also knew the dangers of electrocuting yourself. I was a (seemingly) competent adult who stood frozen as I zapped myself to death like a complete moron.

At no point did I think, “Hey, maybe I should rest my finger on this conduit of death.” I did think OHHHHH GOD I CAN’T MOVE WHAT WHAT WHAT UUUUUHHHHHHHHH. 

As far as final thoughts go, not too impressive.

Less than a month ago I watched a coworker, who has worked in the same place for over a decade, walked head first into a glass wall. His lip marks are still on the glass. As if he was leaving some romantic memento for his love…the glass partition.

I will say this about our uncommon sense, and the lack of sense, it means only one thing is common…nonsense. The lack of sense.

So I suggest we replace, “It’s just common sense.” with, “It’s just nonsense.”

Of course, this is pretty much life and people summed up.

It’s just nonsense.

The Concert Curse

I never started going to shows until probably 2009. I went to a few here and there if they didn’t require me to leave town. It wasn’t until I had been to at least a dozen or so that i realized I was cursed.
I went to Kings of Leon with my ex, who for all intents and purposes is about 60% responsible for my current musical tastes. But, about 90% responsible for my concert experiences. We went to see them, and it was great. So much so, in fact, we went the next year and took a couple of our friends. Another great time, I even photo-bombed a girl taking photos with Taco Bell mascots.

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Photo-Bombing Responsibly

The next year however, the band didn’t tour through Indiana. they didn’t again for 3-4 years. I was disappointed, but I dealt with it. Bands need time to record new music so I can listen to it while drunk in a field. I understand.
Then, I saw Wild Beasts (another favorite) at Lollapalooza. It was great. I stood propped against a rail in the front row for hours and loved it. A few years later we were standing in another Wild Beast music festival performance. This time Coachella, frying our asses off. It was even better. It sounded like deviant choral music.

wildbeasts
Wild Beasts

Wild Beasts is a UK band, so catching them on tour was a bit difficult. I even had a discussion one night at the campsite with a drunken Irish guy about how amazing they were and how difficult it was to see them live.
So, imagine my disappointment when I found out the band was dis-banding in 2017. I then thought back to other acts I had seen over the years. I had joked before that I must be cursed. Each time I found a band I truly wanted to see live more than once some form of Fate intervened.

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Keyboardist from Foxy Shazam

The quick list is as follows: Killswitch Engage (singer left, replaced by previous singer), Foxy Shazam (no idea just haven’t seen them touring nearby), Beats Antique, The XX, Black Keys, and I am sure there are more.
I am afraid to get too excited about following bands now. I don’t want to bear the burden of them breaking up, or dying mid-flight with Ritchie Valens & Big Bopper.

Is it a curse? Or maybe the bands are Ghosting me?

They don’t want some out-of-place mid-life crisis mulatto with aching joints front and center while they try to whip the crowd into a frenzy.

Booty Calls

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-sw9dn-98556b

When do booty calls become Friends with Benefits? As we get older does the booty call window change? How men and women catch feelings differently. Plus, why are we talking about angela’s booty and Brittany’s grandparent’s place? 

We are joined by Guest Host Brittany & our friend Jay. 

DrunknDeviant.com

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