Tagged comedy

You Illiterate Trash Heap

A while back I over heard a girl of about seventeen talking to her friends. She was telling them that she doesn’t read books. Not in a shameful “I’m illiterate” way, but a cocky I am too good for books way.

This set my mind cogs to grinding. It was upsetting. It was the dawning horror that this prideful idiot strutted around as if the ability to not do something was and accomplishment. Feeling the sudden violent urge to jiggle the light bulb supposedly attached to her “brain” I began speaking.

You know reading is something important? It is a gift. Slaves weren’t allowed to read…. or write…. That was so slave masters could keep them slaves. Actual books have been written about how losing the ability to read by an entire society could destroy everything we have. I mean even a magazine article is a start.

When I saw the look on her face it made my hope for humanity weep. She looked at me as if I had just told her I was a priest who liked touching kids & vaping. She actually made a scoffing sound! I literally heard scoff! that was kinda of neat, but just not in this situation. This girl might one day be in charge at the retirement home I decline in.

Remember when you were a child and everyone made a big deal out of “You can be whatever you want to be!” speech? Apparently, this girl was absent that day due to a Bachelor marathon. She strutted away, as I struggled to find enough will to continue living.

All in all, it wasn’t disturbing in and of itself.

Well, then a day later, another late teen was within my hearing range as she read out loud, “My conduct is..” off of a bracelet. She laughed, and told her friends it was funny. Two seconds later she says unashamed, “What does conduct mean?” It was then that I prayed God was swift and merciful with my death. I was too dumbstruck to even say a word. Luckily, I know understand the meaning behind the word dumbstruck.

The news media calls this era the Information Age! Yet, the more information available the more idiots sprout from the womb of ignorance. This is the world my child will inherit one day. All the current population seems concerned about is whether the environment is okay. I say if we are becoming nothing more than willing  pack animals of existence who gives a shit about going green! So we can look forward to a pollution free AND an intellect free planet??

I plan to continue on my path of going against the green. I use any products that cause or increase my carbon footprint. Use pesticides & Frankenstein foods. Why not? If the whole world is going to hell in a hand basket, and yet still cannot spell either hand or basket!! Why not let it die a fancy apocalyptic death?

Instead of making school children computer literate & environmentally conscious  make them aware of how to crack a fucking book & learn. Using deductive reasoning (which they learned from reading it would naturally happen anyway.

Fahrenheit 451 …read it!

Or burn it, I don’t even fucking know anymore.

FEARS!!!! audio link & TV show versions

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-66653-9d99e1

It’s just Angela and Erik today talking about their fears. Birds, Spiders, Erik’s beauty making him a prime target for kidnapping. You know the normal things.

 

Throwback: Now That We Live Together 2

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-6swkd-9cfd9d

This is a throwback to our first episode of our public access show where Angela & I discuss things we learned once we moved in together. This was recorded about a month after I moved in with her, her husband and kids. 

Throwback: Now That We Live Together

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-8dnh5-9cfd84

This is a throwback to our first episode of our public access show where Angela & I discuss things we learned once we moved in together. This was recorded about a month after I moved in with her, her husband and kids. The episode ends on a cliffhanger so be sure to check out part 2 also available. 

Sex No-No’s

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-ewuq7-9c55bd

MediaHandler

Brittany joins us to talk about things you DON’T want to do during sex.

Savage Soliloquy: Verbose Elitist Gurus

THIS IS A LITTLE SOMETHING NEW>>>CHECK OUT THE NEW PODCAST FORMAT OF SAVAGE SOLILOQUY & LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK IN THE COMMENTS… THANKS, ERIK *click the link to listen to the rant*

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-tzchv-9c0095

Verbose: using or expressed in more words than are needed.

Elitist:  A person who believes that they are superior to others (and thus deserve favored status) because of their intellect, social status, wealth, or other factors. 

Guru: an influential teacher or popular expert.

Only one of these things separately pisses me off regularly…elitists. Hate them, and oddly, I feel superior to them because they are snobs. Worse, most are social predators waiting to pounce on anyone they mildly disagree with on any topic. The combination of the other two words to the equation creates an unbearable ass-hat who while educated & expressive loses any credibility as a source of guidance due to their second anus attached to their jaw.

lbvmL3T

The internet has provided a fertile breeding ground for these pests. In addition to making it more socially acceptable to “dip your toes in the water” of ass-hattery. These people were internet trolls before there was an internet. They flamed casual acquaintances for sport rather than sharing of knowledge. Now they are this disease that spreads through our lives unhindered. This entire blog was triggered by a post a friend shared, but the issue itself was crawling under my skin for some time prior to this.

The post itself was fairly simple. It was the authors disdain for people sharing quotes constantly on social media, especially it seemed, if the original message was a translation. Mainly due to the fact that translations from modern languages lose meaning, and the older the quote being translated the greater the loss. Plus, the message seemed to be that we can all share knowledge we discover on our own paths in life.

I agree!!! 

The thing that made me angry was the authors replies to people who disagreed with him. He spent most times mockingly calling out anyone who disagreed with him. Mocking their beliefs, their intellect, and the general usefulness of their existence. This from an author who from what i found (via FB stalking) to have many good points, and a seemingly decent knowledge base. It pissed me off mainly because for all the bluster & superiority of tone in his replies…all i saw between the lines was pettiness & monumental, yet fragile ego.

IT IS THE COMBO THAT I HATE

I hate people with the life coach mentality who can’t use it to COACH!!! Any teacher will tell you that you aim to address the audience you are speaking to… meaning that if you are talking to 4 year olds about life lessons, those lessons will be wildly less complex than if you were speaking to a group of twenty-somethings. This is where the verbose part comes into play. You can explain things nonstop, but if you are putting expert level knowledge out there for a novice…no learning will happen. The most important lesson I learned in my very limited college experience is this…be concise. Don’t pile words up like dirty clothes on your clean outfit otherwise the whole things stinks.

I mean I can converse all day long about nonsense, but I tell stories which require more detail than driving instructions for example.

The guru part is a bad deal when combined with the elitist mindset too. Mainly because you have someone who is using their slightly larger amount of knowledge as a way to lord it over other people. You will see people guru-ing their ass off for adoration & status. These are the people who make a point then pause dramatically & smile smugly at blowing people’s mind with their Gandalf-like wisdom. The fact remains that you can be a bar stool Rumi, but minutes later you are going home to you sad life alone wondering why no one appreciates your giant alien overlord brain pulsating your giant skull like a soft snake egg. It’s because you aren’t teaching anyone anything other than to make better conversation partner choices when drinking.

This type of guru offers no real knowledge…they speak to the masses to display their greatness, which in context looks very pathetic & sad. This is why they are so verbose, or talkative about their wide expanse of information…the silence between their posturing reveals they are one note songs, one-dimensional creations, and in fact are less advanced in a broad sense than the people they visualize themselves superior to.

I SOUND LIKE A VERBOSE ELITIST GURU!!!!

Oh no!!! Seriously though, I have my moments feeling superior to people too. We all do. The thing is most people do not make it into a daily ritual, or a hobby. I like to think everyone I know is intelligent in one way, or another. I want to hear them spout off for long periods on the stuff they like…and I will pay them back with my own rambling. I think we get into problems when we think other people are inferior to us.

Like I said earlier, I think the internet is a breeding ground for this behavior. I can tell you for a fact probably 80% of my Facebook friends probably wouldn’t be friends with me if we only met online. Think about your friends & ask yourself the same question. If you are that judgmental on a site to share silly quotes, pictures, and tell people everything you did today, who are you really? Am I a know-it-all fuckbag who gets upset & yells at people for not being enlightened like me?

I would say no, but dammit I am tired of seeing people post about coffee every damned morning…but that is another blog.

Are You A Basic B****?

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-ctxjh-9be69f

Are you in love with Pumpkin spice? Do you love a certain corporate coffee chain? Do you wear fasionable scarves? Does Erik hate you? The answer to all these questions is… YES! This episode we rant about people being basic and Erik becomes irate about Muffin Tops (the food not the body type) While Angela tries to not be offended that Erik judges her favorite coffee spot.