Disclaimer: There is talk about various areas of anatomy and the functions of that anatomy that may be NSFW (or not safe for younger ears). Also, we aren’t medical professionals, this is just anecdotal conversation about what has been going on
We talk about Erik’s recent discovery he has Bladder Cancer.
For the quick version Erik wrote the following:
So, here is the story so far, because I don’t want to repeat the same story 10 times a day.
On Friday the 12th (April), I was at work and decided to go to the bathroom before my smoke break. I went to the urinal and saw brown liquid (much different than clear or yellow I was used to) coming out. I went to look for the supervisor, but he was in the back of the plant. I figured I would go on break collect myself and find him when I went back in.
I sat there wondering if I had really seen what I thought I had just seen. I decided I would go to the restroom again when I finished. So, that’s what I did. This time there was a few moments of the same brown color i saw before then it was clear again.
Since I was sure I didn’t hallucinate this time, I found the supervisor and told him I had to go to the ER because 1)obviously and 2)I was freaking out. Later, he told me I looked like I was losing it, and co-workers said I was walking super fast.
I got into my van and called Angela because she had just went to work. It took two tries before she answered. I explained what happened and she told me to try to calm down. I insisted I was calm, but I was talking very fast. I also couldn’t think of what to do next.
Oh yeah, go to the ER.
I went and got in within about 20 minutes. They asked for a urine and blood sample. I gave the urine sample which was clear still. It kind of made me angry because I felt like I was being silly and over dramatic. More so than normal.
Then a guy came in and asked me to drop my pants. He then inspected me and gave me and awkward pinch. It made me even more angry because I am a prude and I’ll be damned if I got my dick pinched for clear piss.
I waited for test results for 2 hours and passed out watching South Park. But during this they asked me about pain, which i had none. Then asked about smoking, which is normal, but they said they needed to ask to rule out certain things. Kidney stones, etc. I also had no infection or fever.
For a moment, I was convinced (ridiculously) that my urethra was clogged from sex 2 days before. It made no sense at all but that is who I am.
They didn’t give me any medications or anything just told me to contact a urologist or kidney specialist within the next couple days. I asked which would be better, they said urologist. They also mentioned it was to make sure it wasn’t bladder cancer…even though no one offered any other possibilities.
I made an appointment the following Monday, and was in the urologist’s office Tuesday. The Er said I still had microscopic traces of blood in my urinalysis, and I still had these traces Tuesday at the Urologist office. Still no pain, fever, or infection though. So, I scheduled a CT scan for Thursday.
I went to the scan. The worst part of this is me being a prude. I don’t think anyone should see me from the waist down, but now I am dropping my pants like a good little sub. So I had to pull my pants down for the scan and immediately I hear dozens of coins fall over the floor. Nothing quite like being self conscious cuz your naked from the waist down AND because you are a clumsy idiot.
I got the contrast injection and the nurse warned me the contrast would make my rectum warm. I laughed until my butthole heated up like someone shoved a hand warmer in my ass. I also felt the back of my throat warm up immediately too… at least I know they are connected and why i talk so much shit.
I went to the bathroom after picking up all my change off the floor. When i walked out Angela handed me a nickel the nurse gave her that id missed.
They told me results wouldn’t be available for 24 -48 hours. But it was Easter Sunday, so Monday morning I called and got an appointment for Tuesday. I went to work that day, and I was out of it. By this time I had ingested about 40 hours of YouTube videos about bladder cancer which was all anyone had mentioned.
I was a bit distracted, but I was alright. Then they called back to tell me I would be seeing the doctor instead of the nurse practitioner, and i would be getting a cystoscopy instead of just getting CT scan results. Of course, I immediately got tunnel vision and I left work early.
Tuesday, Angela escorted me to my appointment again, and I dropped my pants and sat covered with a paper sheet. The doctor quickly came in lube up the scope and did the 20,000 leagues into my urethra. I was distracted by the discomfort but I really wanted to make a joke about how I was glad my dick was small so it was a quick trip…but I didn’t because almost immediately the big billowy bastard was on screen. I had researched enough to know my bladder shouldn’t have landscaping in it.
The doctor confirmed it was a tumor. I was surprised. If it hadn’t been for the discomfort of having a scope in my bits I would have felt super relaxed. It looked like a flowy sea creature. or like sea sponge or whatever. It was actually pretty…gorgeous I told Angela. Then almost as quickly as it started the scope was out and I was sitting awkwardly with my pants around my ankles.
The doctor went over what would happen next, I would have a similar procedure, but this one would knock me out and remove the tumor. Then I would have a chemo liquid directly put into my bladder afterwards. The tumor would be sent out to be biopsied.
Then, i asked him a couple questions. He asked if I was in the medical field. I told him I wasn’t I just had anxiety and YouTube. He told me not to believe everything on YouTube (even though YouTube gave me pretty much all correct info FYI). He then asked if I had anymore questions and I asked if I could pull my pants up. Then I did another blood sample and I went home.
It took a few days before they called to schedule my surgery. So, now I wait til the 8th before I go into for the procedure.
I found out I had bladder cancer on Tuesday (April 30th), but honestly, the worst moment was Thursday when I went to tell my daughter about the doctors visit. It was the only time I cried since that visit and since (so far). I think that is the roughest part so far. The idea I am causing people pain with my sickness and that I could potentially miss out on events with my daughter.
It is weird knowing you have something that could kill you but not feeling any pain. it feels a bit surreal.