I think it is a very important lesson to focus on futility. People like to say that confidence is important. Which it is, but it is implied (or out right said) that being a pessimist is character flaw. It isn’t…it is just pragmatic to assume failure is in the cards.
I approach an interview for a new job like someone putting their hand in a rat trap. I know its gonna end badly, possibly with me screaming a cuss word loudly a few moments after.
I approach dating as if the other persons soul mate will be serving us, and shove their tongue down my dates throat. whisking them away to parts unknown to proceed with a long, healthy & happy relationship. Hilarious I know, but these thoughts are in my head nearly the entire time.
The thing is no one views this as an advantage. It can be as long as you accept the fact that if there can be a certain amount of futility in being hopeful, then the opposite must hold some grain of truth. There is hope within futility. There is a power.
I may assume I won’t get a job I have applied for, but it makes me research the company, evaluate my skills more in-depth, and makes me acutely aware of what I am doing during the interview. It makes me hyper aware, and I have anticipated what could go wrong in many various ways. So much so that when the worse happens I feel it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Just shrug & move forward.