I didn’t expect it to happen. I may have too much misplaced faith in humanity. It could be that stupidity is always somewhat jarring…


Anyway, I went to Wal-Mart a few nights ago. I just wanted cheap 2 liters of diet soda. As I was walking in lamenting the fact the whole layout of Walmart is ridiculous . Quick stop for food? Go to the back of the stadium sized store…passing aisles of shit that is in no way an impulse item.

 
How is it that a store who has a parody website based on its clienteles LACK of fashion sense has clothing up front? Is it an attempt at urging the patrons to put something on aside from pajamas and Crocs? I don’t know.

 
I want to meet the mental giant who said, “Hey, we should put the pet food & stuff next to beauty & feminine hygiene products!”. This asshole needs to be seriously questioned about what happened in his life that made these items seem like they go hand in hand. When I am buying puppy piss pads I don’t think about needing deodorant.

 

people-of-walmart-2
Now that I am into a nice little rage…what about this… why is loss prevention’s last line of defense an elderly ex-retiree? If someone is burgling the f**king store you think Elmer checking their receipt is gonna stop it? No….it will not.

 
Plus, face cameras recording me as I am going through self check-out? I am already feeling awkward about my purchases of puppy pads, tampons, a bag of chips & WD40, I don’t need to see the shame written on my own face…I can feel it.

 
Why not have the cameras on the items I could easily place elsewhere, other than the plastic bags that are bonded shut on an atomic level that I struggle with for minutes at a time. As if I am being tested by the Wal-Mart gods.

 
We don’t need the amenities! We don’t shop there cuz it is nice. The same reason I don’t drink at flamboyant dance clubs…I drink to get drunk…cheaply. I am at Wal-Mart to get my stuff because it is cheap. I’d still go even if it got worse…which seems impossible.

 

Of course, I have been in a gas station that had a dirt floor that only had white T-shirts for sale.

But, it got WORSE!

 
This is my point…As I walked into Wal-Mart a few nights ago, I saw big black & yellow signs on the doors that read DON’T FORGET YOUR CHILDREN IN THE CAR.

 
DON’T FORGET YOUR CHILDREN IN THE CAR!!!!

 
I got so distracted by the savings that I forgot little Jayden in the car! Holy shit, baby Brianna is still laying facedown on the passenger floor! I better get back outside….wait…is that pumpkin spice Oreo’s? On sale?… wait…What was I saying? Nevermind, these prices got me feeling some type of way…Imma rollback these motherf**kin’ prices!

 

I hate life…

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