I was in the locker room getting ready to go workout. The class had just finished so some of my fellow female co-workers were changing. I am not one to be ashamed of my body and can get naked in front of anyone. I am also of the belief that if you’re uncomfortable with seeing other people’s bodies, then you should change in the stall or something. It is not up to me to make you feel comfortable in a public place. I got done changing, went to the bathroom, and started my workout. I was not aware at the time that someone had an issue with me in some way. I received an email towards the end of my workout. It was an apology from a co-worker about what she said in the locker room. She was just ashamed of her own body and didn’t mean it. When I emailed back asking what she was talking about, she said she’d tell me later. Well it apparently isn’t later yet, because she never told me. I can only assume it had to do with me so openly changing in front of people when I am not the body shape of a model.
I have never been one to bash other people for what they look like. I was teased my whole life for various unfortunate body issues I had. I was tall, fat, not very cute, big glasses, and a nerd on top of it all. I grew up and lost weight. I don’t think I am any better than anyone else. I would rather lift people up instead of tear them down for things that make them unique and beautiful. Women are especially hard on other women. Men don’t do it to each other in the same way that women do. Women seem to focus on the insecurities of others and exploit that. It is so much harsher that way.
I didn’t have great female role models growing up. My mother favored my brother over me. My step mother would have dumped me off somewhere if she could get away with it. I think this has made me feel like I can’t trust women as much. My relationships with women don’t last long periods unless they have similar personalities. This hasn’t stopped me from wanting to keep trying to have good female friends. I am a people pleaser.
Most people have something they are not happy with on their body. It boggles my mind that people would rather exploit other people’s insecurities than try to help each other celebrate our differences. We should be helping each other do what we need to do to get where we love ourselves. I feel like this would solve so many social issues that we deal with on a daily basis. We are taught at a young age that different is wrong. It teaches you that you have to be skinny and pretty to be worth anything. So instead, we’re all competing with each other and tearing down others to feel better about ourselves.
At first I was confused when I got that email. I actually stepped back and wondered what I did to deserve this from her. I literally took it upon myself to worry that I somehow offended her. Then I got mad, because I had been nothing but nice to her. I actually bend over backwards for her during work. I make sure things get to her as soon as I receive them. We had even talked about getting our kids together. We actually had a conversation about being empowering to others instead of tearing them down. We were talking about my daughter having trouble with other kids at school. So, because of this incident, I have made a promise to myself. I won’t tear others down. I will strive to lift them up instead. I am hoping that other people can start doing the same. I hope that will lead to others being positive to others.
Eventually there will be world peace right? Yea, probably not, but it’s a start….
This blog might be a little hippie peace freak, but it’s really a horrible issue that needs solved. I don’t think we need to hold hands and sing Kumbayah, but we could do with being a little nicer to each other. While you show love to others, be sure to love yourself too! We sometimes get so caught up in trying to help others, that we forget to make sure we are ok too. Take a little time each day for yourself and others.
Peace, Love, & Chicken Grease!